Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
