Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
