Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
