you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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