She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Randomize
