My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
