He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize