I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
