i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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