Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
she smelled like a LAN party
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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