Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
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