I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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