Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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