If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize