Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
