Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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