I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Life is so much better after having sex.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
