I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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