I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
