Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
