i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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