Dual....:-)
I just saw a hot homeless man
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
