New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
