You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
we're so committed to being not committed
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
