I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
