I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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