Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You ate ashes out of my bong
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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