Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
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