I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
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I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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