it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize