Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Randomize
