drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
