You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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