Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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