Princesses don't give blow jobs
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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