That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Ketchup is God's man juice
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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