She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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