All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I'm passing your future prison.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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