i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
