my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
