oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
