Me. At least after what I've been through.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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