I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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