i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
