I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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