apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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