last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I currently don't understand fingers.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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