My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
