I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
