K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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