I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize