Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
