chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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