More tranny stories later!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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