im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
So much rum. So many feels.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
