Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
