Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
How external is "for external use only"?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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