Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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