i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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