Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i think i just lost a toe
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
