When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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