do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You pole danced in your parka.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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