thus making me awesome and them whores
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
