my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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