Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize