i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
