Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
where does the pee come out of this thing
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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