you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
