just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
