Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize