Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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