I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize