holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
