my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
