We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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