everyone is single if you try hard enough
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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